Okwesabekayo, ukudideka, umuzwa wokuthi impilo ngeke iphinde ifane - lokhu kusabela kokuqala kwabantu abathola ukuthi banesifo sikashukela. Sibuze udokotela wezengqondo owaziwayo u-Aina Gromova ukuthi angabhekana kanjani nemizwelo eyeqile, bese sibuyisela izinto ezinhle ezimpilweni zethu.
Kukhona okuxilonga okuhlukanisa impilo ibe "ngaphambili" nokuthi "ngemuva", futhi isifo sikashukela nakanjani sibhekisela kubo. Igama lefashini elithi "influencer" liza engqondweni kuqala, elichaza umuntu onomthelela endaweni ethile. Kuyiqiniso, isifo sikashukela - i-real-influencer - sikwenza ucabangele kabusha indlela yakho yokuphila, kepha kunzima kakhulu ukuzivumelanisa nesidingo sokuhlala ubala ngaso.
Lokhu sikubone mathupha lapho sibuza abantu eqenjini lethu "Isifo sikashukela" ku-Facebook (uma ungakabi nathi, sincoma ukubhalisa!) sabelane ngemizwa nemizwa yakho aba nayo ngemuva kokuxilongwa. Ngemuva kwalokho safuna usizo kudokotela wezengqondo nodokotela wezengqondo u-Aina Gromova, obephawula ngabo.
Kusuka ekhoneni elihlukile
Kuyiqiniso, akekho umuntu ongayedwa ohlangabezana nenjabulo nomdlandla lapho ezwa ukuthi akaphilile, futhi lokhu kuyinto eqondakala ngokuphelele.
Kodwa-ke, kubaluleke kakhulu ukuziphatha kahle ngokwenzeke kuwe - hhayi njengenkinga, kodwa njengomsebenzi.
Iqiniso ngukuthi uma sibona inkinga, siyacasuka, sigxile kokuhlangenwe nakho. Ngalesi sikhathi, sikude kakhulu nokululama, ngoba sisakhula izinhlungu, ukukhathazeka futhi singabaza ikusasa lethu. Thina ngokwethu sibopha ilebula lomuntu ogulayo futhi siqale ukwakha ubudlelwane nabanye - nezihlobo, izihlobo, osebenza nabo - njengomuntu ogulayo futhi ngaleyo ndlela singene sicwile kulesi sifo.
Kunomqondo onjalo kwi-psychology nakwezokwelapha, okubizwa ngokuthi "isithombe sangaphakathi sesifo" - ukuthi umuntu uhlobana kanjani nesifo sakhe namathemba akhe. Vele, kulula kakhulu ukubekezelela noma yikuphi ukugula, lezo ziguli ezamukele ukuxilongwa kwazo futhi zizimisele ukunciphisa umthelela wazo empilweni yazo zizolulama noma zixolelwe.
Ukusabela kokuqala kokuxilongwa kungahluka kakhulu, kepha lapho ufika esigabeni “yebo, kunjalo, nginesifo sikashukela, okufanele ngikwenze” bese sisuka ezimweni siye kwesinye esakhayo, okungcono.
Kubukeka kuwe ukuthi "ukuphela kwempilo" sekufikile
Zitshele ukuthi impilo ayipheli, kepha kuzodingeka kwenziwe ukulungisa okuthile kukho. Yebo, kungetwa okunye kuhlu lwakho lwemisebenzi - ukwelashwa. Kodwa masingayihlanganisi: i-positive yisisekelo esingaphakathi, asihlobene nokuba khona noma ukungabikho kwalesi sifo. I-psyche yakhelwe ukuze kuthi lapho umuntu ecabanga okubi, abe mubi. Ngakho-ke, udinga ukuzilungiselela kanjena: "Lokhu akusona ukuphela kwempilo, impilo iyaqhubeka, futhi manje kunesici esinjalo kukho. Ngiyakwazi ukusilawula." Ngenhlanhla, namuhla kungokoqobo impela - kukhona ochwepheshe, nezidakamizwa, namadivayisi akuvumela ukuthi ubheke amazinga kashukela egazini.
Ucindezelekile futhi unovalo
Izindaba zokuxilongwa kwesifo sikashukela ziyizindaba ezicindezelayo ngempela. Kepha akekho kithi owayeqinisekiswe impilo ngokuphelele. Ngakho-ke, awudingi ukugaxela kwalasha lokunganaki futhi usule ukusula okuhlangenwe nakho kwakho kusisekelo sethangi. Yibona abazosiza lesi sifo ukuthi siqhubeke ngesimo esibi kakhulu, ngoba ukudangala nokuhlaselwa ukwethuka kungajoyina. Kubalulekile kakhulu ukuzibamba ngokuzibamba ngokuthi uthi “yeka” kuyo yonke imicabango emibi. Phinda uzitshele ukuthi ungasiphatha lesi simo bese ushintsha kusuka kokuhlangenwe nakho kuye kwizenzo ezithile, uma kungenjalo uzophila esimweni sokukhathala ngokomzwelo.
Ingabe uzithukuthelele noma ukwethuka
Intukuthelo nokwesaba kuyindlela yokusabela ngokomzwelo, kodwa uma siphila ngemizwa yodwa, akukho lutho oluhle oluyovela. Umuntu angabheka okuhlangenwe nakho okungokomzwelo kufanele yena, abese eletha ubuhlungu nokudumazeka kwakhe phambili. Noma yehlisa umoya uqhubekele ezenzweni ezithile, kancane kancane uxazulule inkinga. Ingqondo yethu ayazi ukuthi ingazenza kanjani lezi zinto ngasikhathi sinye, ku-cortex ye-cerebral cortex ngeke kube khona okubusa kabili ngasikhathi sinye. Ukukhetha kuleli cala kubonakala kusobala.
Umona wabantu ngaphandle kwesifo sikashukela
Okokuqala, akusizi ngalutho ukuthi bathi umphefumulo womunye umuntu umnyama. Wazi kanjani ukuthi abanye abantu ababonakala bejabule kuwe bazizwa kanjani ngempela? Ngokuphazima kweso, umuntu omfisayo ngeke avume ukushintshana nawe, awazi zonke izimo zakhe. Ungaziqhathanise nabanye - ngeke kuphele kunoma yini enhle. Okwesibili, umona uwukubonakaliswa kwentukuthelo yokuthi umzimba uzophoqelelwa ukuthi wenze okuthile ngandlela thile. Imvamisa nguyena okhuthaza ukuthuthukiswa kwezifo zengqondo.
Awufuni ukwamukela ukuxilongwa
Isimo lapho umuntu aphika ukuthi une-diagnostic sibizwa ngokuthi i -hlane. I-Anosognosia, ngendlela, imvamisa itholakala kubazali bezingane abagulayo abenqaba ngokuphelele ukukholelwa ukuthi kukhona okungahambi kahle ngengane yabo - njengomthetho, lokhu kuyizimpawu zokusabela okuxakile kwengcindezi. Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, kuyadlula, ngoba umuntu ubuya esimweni esithintekayo lapho ecabanga khona ngemizwa kuphela, futhi uqala ukucabanga ngokuhlelekile.
Awazi ukuthi uwuphendula kanjani umbuzo ngokwenzekile
Ngingathanda futhi ukuphakamisa isihloko semingcele yomuntu siqu ekucabangeni kwamazwe asendaweni engemva kweSoviet. Imibuzo eyephula ibhekwa njengejwayelekile (yize lokhu kungenjalo nhlobo) futhi ingabuzwa kubantu abangabhekwa njengokuxhumana okusemthethweni: "Kungani ungakashadi", "Uhola malini umyeni wakho", "Kungani ungakenzi izingane, "njll. Iqiniso ngukuthi imingcele yomuntu siqu ayakhekanga ezweni lethu. Abazali bakubheka njengomsebenzi wabo ukufundisa ingane ukuthi ithi ngiyabonga futhi ngicela ubambe ezandleni zabo, kepha, njengomthetho, abacabangi ngokumfundisa ubuhlakani nemithetho yokuxhumana nabanye abantu. Kungakanani okuvumelekile ukugibela empilweni yomunye umuntu bese uvumela abanye ukuba babe ngabakho, ukuthi wenzeni ngalabo abahlasela isikhala somuntu ngokungakhethi.
Impilo yomuntu nje yaleso sigaba esisondele kakhulu. Indlela yokuziphatha nabephula umthetho? Funda ukuvikela imingcele yakho - noma ukuyihleka, noma khuluma nabantu abanelukuluku lokuzibeka bese ubabeka endaweni yabo. Akukho ukufundiswa okuthile, kanye nesisho sendawo yonke esifanele wonke umuntu. Kuzofanele uqhamuke nekulungele wena. Kunoma ikuphi, ikhono lokufinyeza amakhala amade likufanele ukuqeqeshwa, lizoba usizo kunoma ngubani, kungakhathalekile ukuthi kukhona yisiphi isifo.
